Book tour yields 'Tales from the Trip'

On a sunny Saturday afternoon in Portland, Ore., a woman who called herself the "Gray Grammarian" raised her hand to let me know how she feels about the choice between "I appreciate your taking the time to meet with me" and "I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me."

She doesn't like that second one. Not one little bit.

The first one, the one with "your," our friend knows, is called the "possessive with gerund." The one with "you," she said, is used by people "who don't even know what a gerund is."

I told her and the other people who came to my talk at the Wordstock Festival that grammarians have never reached a consensus on this question: Both forms are OK. But I've learned a valuable lesson: If you want to play it safe, you might want to go with the possessive "your" instead of just "you."

This is just one of many valuable lessons I now collectively call "Tales From the Trip" ? usage tips culled from meeting people across the country on an exhausting but educational tour for my book.

Take Capitola, Calif. It's a beautiful community adjacent to Santa Cruz where you might enjoy a vacation, but where you don't want to misuse the word "enormity."

Though commonly used to mean "enormousness" or "magnitude," the word "enormity," a professional editor in the audience at the Capitola Book Café pointed out, is not about big. It's about bad.

"Enormity" means "outrageousness, ghastliness, hideousness," according to "Garner's Modern American Usage."

In Milwaukee, I learned a little something from media escort Mike Drew ? a man whose job was to get me to bookstores and my appointments on time, but whose education and professional experience far outweigh mine. Mike used the word, "continual," then hesitated.

"Is it 'continual' or 'continuous'?" he asked me. "I can't remember which one means recurring and which means nonstop."

Mike thought I'd know the answer off the top of my head. And that's where Mike was wrong. But later, when he picked me up for my evening appointment, I had done my homework. "Continual," I announced like a child delivering a book report to a teacher, means frequently recurring or intermittent. I would remember this, I told Mike, by thinking of an annoying relation named Al who likes to show up unannounced. Conversely, "continuous" means "unceasing." So unlike Al who you don't have to put up with 24-7, there's no escaping "us" (as in the "ous" at the end of "continuous").

Yeah, I know: groan. But it's helped me remember this through a weeks-long blur of airports and multicultural cabbies that isn't over yet.

In Minneapolis, I learned one woman's peeve regarding the word "fortuitous." The word means "occurring by chance," which is not the same as "fortunate." And it was both fortuitous and fortunate that no one knew this was the first time I'd ever heard this fact.

Back home in Los Angeles, I was on a panel at the L.A. Times Festival of Books. During the discussion, someone mentioned the language skills of our current president. I couldn't resist. "Hey. Don't misunderestimate him."

The laughter and applause that ensued tells you everything you need to know about the language of L.A. It's good to be home.