FAMILY FAITH:Art of listening is essential for families

This past Sunday, our senior pastor spoke on the topic of listening. He asked if there were good listeners in the congregation. It was surprising how long it took for people to answer. There were only a few that others touted as being excellent listeners.

I knew right away that it would depend on the day and time whether or not I was a good listener. Yes, it is what I do for a living and what I am being trained to do as a future psychotherapist. But listening is a skill, even an art. I am astonished at how many innovative ways I am learning to listen in my studies.

Listening can be complex. It may be because we do not have the appropriate skills, it goes counter to our temperament, we are distracted, or tired, or many other myriad excuses. Nonetheless, it is vital for our interpersonal relationships.

Sometimes I have to force myself to stop, make eye contact and bite my tongue to listen to my loved ones when I am in the middle of something. Other times, especially in a ministry setting, it is much easier to focus because distractions are minimal.

The point that I am making is that listening does not always come easy — and that is to be expected. Many important things in life take hard work. But it is something we need to do.

Making a point to listen better and more efficiently in 2007 can enhance our lives and construct stronger bonds within our families. It can also build our relationships and help us mature as individuals.

The Word of God tells us, "He who answers before listening — that is his folly and his shame" (Proverbs 18:13; Holy Bible, New International Version). Boy, have I been guilty of that when I am engrossed in something and my kids ask a question that I quickly answer before truly hearing the message they are trying to convey. We need to slow down in life.

God's Word also tells us that, "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice" (Proverbs 12:15). Are we open to hearing what comes from another's heart? Are we also willing to listen to something they may be trying to point out about our own life?

It may be hard to hear, but change comes from listening — for us, and for those we listen to. Just food for thought as you embark on a fresh new year. If this is resonating with your own life, may God bless you and your endeavor to be a better listener.