PLEASE:Google isn't always answer

Every once in a while, I like to dedicate a whole column to answering your grammar questions. Of course, this is difficult when you don't ask me any grammar questions — when my "in" box is as deserted as Paris Hilton's prison cell.

So, like all desperately neglected lonely hearts in our society, I turn to the one, the only almighty source that can offer a soul comfort in a time of need. That's right, I'm talking about Google — the place where typing in one's own name has become a national obsession and where learning there's no fan site dedicated to you is spawning a mental health epidemic.

I start by typing in "stupid grammar question." I include "stupid" for several reasons: 1. "Grammar question" alone tends to take me to academic sites, where no one's really asking a question; they're hypothetical; and 2. I'm better at answering the stupid ones.

The first hit to catch my eye is a message board called GamersWithJobs, in which a user writes: "I can't remember what you call pronouns that change form when used in the subject as opposed to being a direct object (he vs. him, for example). Anyone remember what the different types of pronouns are called?"

This is not a stupid question. But the answer that appeared on the message board … well, I'll let you decide. After just one person posted an, "Um, I dunno," response, the questioner decided to answer his or her own question by Googling it. (I knew I should have patented that idea.) The answer he came up with is "objective and subjective."

There's just one problem. One of those terms isn't used by most grammar books. Yes, "objective" case is the right term to describe nouns and especially pronouns used as objects: "him," "me," "us," "her," "them," "whom," etc. But the favored term for nouns and pronouns used as subjects — "he," "I," "we," "she," "they," "who," etc. — is not "subjective." It's "nominative." That's the clear favorite of all the language books in my library — from the "Oxford English Grammar" to "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Grammar and Style." Yes, the word "subjective" crops up from time to time. But as long as we're taking the time to learn the lingo, we might as well learn the preferred terms.