Family Faith:

As people who serve God and are supposed to hold to an absolute moral standard, do we support one another? I ask this question as we approach the Christmas holiday specifically, but would like to broach the topic on general terms as well.

How do we view those in our church and community? Do we view them with the thought that they are children of God, worthy of kindness and concern? Or do we view them with a judgmental eye, waiting to hear of their failure through gossip, never going to them directly to see if there is truth to this gossip? Do we hold an internal dialogue, or perhaps extend that dialogue to others (which can be slander or gossip), without ever going to the innocent brother or sister in Christ to see if they are all right or if the rumor is true?

I will supply an example. There was a young woman who had suffered through a terrible divorce. She had been abused, infidelity had ensued, and she lived in the crisis of being left by her husband.

The pain was too much to bear, as she felt little support from her church. She changed churches to a place where her family could be healed and fit in well. During her season of healing, no one from her previous church checked on her — even though she had attended that church and served there for 20 years.

One day, about a year later, she ran into someone from her old church. He said he had heard about the divorce but had heard from her ex-husband that it was her fault. She was shocked and devastated. This woman was left with the feeling that her abuse would never be acknowledged by the church, although it was by law enforcement, and that the pain of being cheated on would never be comforted by those in the Body of Christ.

As I write this story, I wonder, “Why would the church not come alongside and support someone grieving to this degree?” Why would she not be contacted and have the gossip denied or confirmed? Why did this woman, who had served faithfully, not receive a Biblical call as mandated in the Bible? Her ex-husband had broken the law, abused and cheated, yet his lying stories were believed.

This story makes me realize how we have the potential to fail one another in the Body of Christ. Gossip, slander and listening to it are sin. The Word of God is clear that we are to get the whole story, and go directly to the person — not believe gossip.