May 23, 2009

Thinking outside the box for city savings

I have two ideas. First, the entire city should go on a mandatory 9/80 work schedule. Of course, not the safety employees, but everyone else. Close all the offices. The citizens may not like it at first, but if the City Council sticks to their guns, the citizens will get used to it.

Second, estimate the water and power bill every other month, but continue to bill every month. You just need to adjust the “high/low” factor with the units used by the meter readers. If the estimated month is too high or low when the route is actually read, it will even out.


Again, the City Council has to make a decision and stick to it and give the plan time to work.



So, we actually don’t have to save water?

Hallelujah, the drought is over!

I can’t tell you how delighted I was to read Councilman David Gordon’s community commentary (“This is no time for rate hike,” May 20). How utterly amazing this man is, by merely flying over the high Sierras at 30,000 feet he was able to use his laser-like vision to accurately measure the snow pack, precisely determine the volume of run-off in the rivers and declare that there’s plenty of water for California. What a blessed day.

All the dozens of worrywart scientists and water board members have been wrong all along, Gordon has saved us!

I don’t know why we don’t just fire the other council members (a splendid thought in and of itself) and make Gordon our sole representative for life.

I’m letting the water run while I shave and brush my teeth again, hosing off my driveway and sidewalk several times a day and seriously thinking about putting in a pool now that I’ve gotten the “all clear” from Gordon.

We might even consider lending him out to our Armed Forces in Afghanistan. Why, I bet he could find that Osama Bin Laden guy before you could say the word “delusional!” Then, after that, we could shoot him off into deep space to determine once and for all if there’s intelligent life anywhere else in the universe. Sure, we’d all miss him, but think of the greater benefits for mankind.



Call it what you will — it’s still hoarding

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