A Word, Please:

Every holiday, news outlets struggle with the same issue. In journalists’ minds, the single most important bit of news to report is “Today is a holiday!” But their readers already know it’s a holiday. And the newsmen and newswomen know that their readers already know it.

So what do you do? Do you just get on with the business of reporting real news, making your Dec. 25 lead story: “Dubai struggles with debt”? No, you think, that won’t do at all, because even though readers know that I know that they know it’s Christmas, they still expect me to mention that it’s Christmas.

The solution: Spin it. Make your lead sentence say something other than, “It’s Christmas” while still saying it’s Christmas. You can do this by reporting anything from how the troops are celebrating Christmas to how the president is celebrating Christmas to how the local soup kitchen is celebrating Christmas. It’s wide open. Though, of course, picking your lead story is more serious business because that’s the article that needs a Christmasy photo to go with it.

Me, I don’t go in for such backdoor shenanigans. That’s why today, for this very special holiday column, I have gone the extra mile to dig up some real holiday news: the difference between Christmas “lay” and Christmas “lie.”

The difference between Christmas “lay” and Christmas “lie” is just like the difference between the other “lay” and “lie,” just more Christmasy. The basic idea is simple: “Lay” is a transitive verb and “lie” is an intransitive verb. Transitive verbs take direct objects. For example, “make” is a transitive verb because it raises the question “makes what?” Sharon makes eggnog. Joe makes a wreath. I make grammar Christmasy.

Intransitive verbs, for example “dance,” don’t take direct objects. Sharon, wearing her Santa hat, dances. Joe, full of Christmas cheer, dances. I, in an attempt to make verbs holiday-related, dance.

Many verbs have both transitive and intransitive forms. For example, in “Sharon sings,” the verb “sings” is intransitive, but in “Joe sings ‘White Christmas’” it’s transitive because it takes a direct object.

That’s the basic difference between Christmas “lay” and Christmas “lie” and also between everyday “lay” and “lie.” With transitive “lay,” you have to lay something. You lay the gift under the tree. You lay the wreath on the door. You lay a kiss on whoever’s under the mistletoe.