The recently erected statue at Five Points has truly inspired me . . . to think about some of the other truly lame, artistically challenged eyesores around town! Here’s what I found one afternoon:
1. What’s with these lame-o banners all over the place? “Come Out & Play,” “Come Out & Dine,” “Newer Than Ever,” “Cooler Than Ever,” “Dumber Than Ever!” Do they think we’re complete idiots? Did someone get their public relations degree from the Chairman Mao School of Mind Control or something? This is insulting, an absolute affront to my dignity!
2. I wrote a letter to the Burbank Leader a couple of years ago about these ridiculous “horse hitching posts” along Burbank Boulevard and still haven’t been able to figure out what on earth they could be used for! Exercise bars for little people? Part of an alphabet learning program that never got funding beyond the letter ‘A’? Components for an antenna array used by school board members to communicate with their home planets? What? Somebody help me out here. What in the name of God are these supposed to be?