I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve won the Irish Lottery!
It sort of all started about nine years ago when I received the first announcement via e-mail. Imagine my surprise, especially because I hadn’t even bought a ticket, but here were these wonderful people trying so hard to inform me of my great fortune! Heck, they must have sent at least a hundred more messages. Was I the luckiest guy on the face of the Earth or what?
Then another miraculous thing occurred — several people from assorted countries in Africa and Europe contacted me asking for my help to transfer $20 million out of their troubled, strife-torn country into a nice, safe Swiss bank account. It was truly a most humbling experience. Why, they hardly knew me, and yet they were willing to offer a most generous 10% assistance fee for my services. Remarkable.